#in my books anyone who cares so much about what and how people consume just never matured enough to mind their own business

[midnighttales357]

Mostly why I've adopted the "sure 1+1=5, you're right and good day to you". Fandom has been made so insufferable by so many people to the point where you don't know where to turn. So fuck it all and fuck those people. Try and stop me from liking the shit I like. Try and tell me it's problematic or this character is x coded or the discourse said this and that. It sure did and I give exactly zero fucks. It's fiction and I get to enjoy it however I want

We should talk about how fandom has become so violently dictated that most people don’t even have fun anymore because they fear being labeled something crazy if someone dislikes something they did.

Instead of just blocking them and moving on, people feel the need to make a call-out post that is 99% them being upset about someone doing something they don’t personally like.

[cy-cyborg]

The Jaws Effect and what it means for media representation

The Jaws Effect is the name of a phenomenon that described the panic and fear that sprang up around sharks, fuelled by Steven Spielberg's movie, Jaws. While the fear of sharks and other marine predators had always been a thing, Jaws launched the fear of sharks, and Great White Sharks in particular, to new (and mostly unfounded) heights. Most people will never encounter a real-life shark and so their only knowledge about the creatures come from movies and other forms of entertainment. Entertainment that largely portrayed them as mindless, unfeeling killing machines. After Jaws, sharks became a staple in the creature-feature genre of movies, which only perpetuated the idea of sharks as dangerous monsters even further, reigniting and reconfirming the beliefs the public held about them in the process. These ideas about sharks are, of course, not true, but the misconception and fear has had a real, observable impacts on shark populations, shark conservation efforts and even laws and legislations surrounding sharks and shark conservation around the world.

Ok but Cy, this is a blog about disability and disabled representation, what do sharks have to do with anything you talk about? Well, Because The Jaws Effect is just one of many examples that shows how massive of an impact representation in the media can have, for better or for worse, especially when talking about subjects the public generally knows very little about.

This conversation is not unique to disability representation, nearly every person I've seen who's talked about how to write and design characters from any minority brings it up eventually, but the media we consume, the movies we watch, the books we read can all have big impacts on people's perceptions on those topics. When talking about disability specifically, it's an unfortunate reality that not many people know all that much about us, and so, much like sharks, for many, their only real exposure to disabled people is through the media they consume.

If you don't know anyone in a wheelchair, and your only knowledge of life as a wheelchair user comes from books and movies like Me Before You, of course you're going to (spoiler) come away thinking that life in a wheelchair is horrible and death is better than living like that. If you don't know any DID Systems and your only exposure to a condition like that is through movies like Split (and honestly, a number of other horror movies and crime shows) of course you'll think people with DID are unstable monsters who could become violent any moment. If your only exposure to autistic people is Music, then it's not shocking that you might think Autistic people are "trapped in their own minds," completely unaware of the world around them and lacking any kind of agency. As much as I'd like to be able to say these are "just movies" or "just books," and that if we don't like them, we can just not watch them, they all had an impact on the real world and real people's perceptions of the disabilities they depicted, as do the many, many smaller examples of bad representation.

This is why I personally spend so much time focused on the portrayal of disability in the media, why so much of my content is focused on creating resources for creators to represent us better, and why I think writers, artists and other types of creators should care about the representation they include.

Unfortunately, people believing misinformation and stereotypes, while annoying, isn't the worst of the impacts bad rep can have. If a stereotype is prevalent enough, and enough people believe it, it can both put us in harms way and cause us to loose access to things we desperately need and things designed to help us. One really common example of this is when movies and TV shows show a character getting up out of their wheelchair, and use this as proof that the person is faking being disabled. However, in reality, there are many disabilities that might mean someone has to use a wheelchair, even if they can still walk a little bit or stand up. The stereotype of someone standing up from their chair being a fake, especially when it's reinforced over and over again in the media, leads non-disabled people to believe that anyone who stands up from their wheelchair is faking, and results in a lot of real disabled people being harassed and denied things like access to disabled parking, toilets and other accessible spaces. There were even a few cases of people reporting those they see get out of their wheelchairs to Centrelink (The Australian "welfare" department, for those not familiar) as frauds, and while these investigations don't usually go far before someone realises what's happened, it has, on occasion, resulted in people loosing the income they depend on to survive, even temporarily.

But the impact of representation, of course, can go both ways.

I was in high school when the first How To Train Your Dragon movie came out, and at the time, I didn't really like people being able to see that I was a leg amputee because I was sick of kids in particular staring, pointing at me, asking their parents "what's wrong with them?" or asking me directly, "what's wrong with your legs?". I wore long skirts and big, bulky tracksuit pants to keep my legs covered, something that became dangerous in the hot Australian summer, but I didn't care.

But the impact of How to Train Your Dragon came in two ways. The first, was that it was one of the first times I'd seen an amputee (or rather, multiple amputees) who didn't keep their prosthetics covered or hidden, and it gave me the little boost in confidence I needed to do that myself and wear clothing that was more comfortable and functional. And second, the comments from children changed, albeit slightly, but enough that it was noticeable. The questions and comments went from "what's wrong with you?" to "oh cool, your legs are like Hiccup's!" I even had one little girl ask me once if I had a pet night fury. They went from being scared of me and my legs, or at the very least concerned for me, to genuinely curious and impressed. While reactions like that did become less and less common over time, they didn't fully go away either. Even today, I occasionally get young kids asking me why I have legs like hiccup. A friend of mine who was born with one arm shorter than the other and without fingers on that side had a similar experience with the movie Finding Nemo. Her disability was a bit more complex than what I described here, and she always found it hard to explain "what happened" to small children, however, after Finding Nemo came out, she was able to simply tell kids "this is my lucky fin, like what nemo has!" and that was enough to take her from someone "scary" to these kids to someone like their favourite characters.

Of course, it's much easier to see the impact positive representation can have on people's perceptions when we're talking about kids media, but it's not exclusive to it either.

When it comes to a minority like the disabled community who are so thoroughly misunderstood by the wider public, misinformation can and does spread easily. What people see and read in the media they consume plays a big roll in how people perceive the real people attached to the stereotypes. We often hear people say "Fiction imitates life" but the reverse can and often is also true, life can imitate and be influenced by fiction, and those of us creating should be mindful of this, especially when we're talking about a group of vulnerable people.

[Thumbnail ID: An illustration of a Great White Shark swimming near the rocky bottom of the ocean, surrounded by silver fish. In the bottom left corner of the image is "The Jaws Effect and what it means for media representation" in big, white bubble text. /End ID]

[bellatrixnightshade]

James X Kyma-- Why I don't ship

Did it have potential? Possibly. I wouldn't have minded it if it was developed since book one and James didn't have as much history with Rafal.

Is it for poor single Rafal who didn't get anyone? Eh, not that either. (Though the lack of closure was admittedly annoying.)

I just felt like I could relate to Kyma about the whole boys thing, and the way James treated her in the beginning was similar to my experiences. (Basically, immature, rude, even physically violent boys. Mostly the former though)

Maybe they would have been better if James slowly outgrew his belief that girls are a waste of time and they became a platonic pair. But honestly, I'm questioning if James even realized the error of his ideas, because to the very end, he had some of the "me and the boys mentality."

And when James was consumed by Rhian's magic in that one part where he physically hurt Kyma-- no. I'm sorry, but that's a big nope for me. I don't care if he was "possessed" or whatever. How can any girl love someone after that?? He was choking her. And when she "saves" him, that also felt off, because it reflects the whole idea that women can save their man from his vices and problems! She just has to love him! Which shouldn't be a message to people, because nobody can save anybody from their vices if they aren't the person themselves. Also, this was after he saved her, so this seems to be this push-pull thing where it's frustrating, and Kyma deserves something happier than that to be honest.

James saw loving a girl as a distraction to his goals, got defensive over Kyma asking a question to me/confronting him, and even gave her what she herself called a "backhanded compliment." Immature boy but he gets the girl in the end. Aladdin was also superficial and immature.

I could tell James respected Rafal-- a guy-- and he sure as hell didn't see him as an obstacle or he being attractive an issue. he invited him to Neverland. But with Kyma? The whole "because you're pretty" was just so... off and the way he kept putting her down for being on the crew was annoying.

So yeah, i dislike the ship because James seemed to be that kind of boy towards her.

(Also, I wonder if Rafal would have done to a girl what he did to James. because if he was willing to do that to a female, that'd look hella pathetic. But I'm sure I would see a bunch of sexist takes, like "she's a whiny bitch being mean to my blorbo" bullshit.)

[seraphinitegames]

I'm in love with the immersion, world-building, and characters of your writing. I can't help but gush about how talented you are with your you are as it's obvious how much love you put in your work.

The routes that I've been going through with my mc and his love interest between Adam and Mason was intriguing, funny and sometimes left me flustered and secretly yearing for more as although the difference between the two is like night and day, there is also a sense of familiarity the two of them share as well such as when it comes to the people they cherish and how they can react when they're threatened especially when it comes to the mc when picked as a love interest.

My favourite moments in the series would be from your most recent book, book three. I was pensive and aching to reach out towards Adam, as I wanted him to realize that it's okay to feel vulnerable every now and then, and that it doesn't make him weak as I desperately tried to reach out to him, and how when I was about to confess that I had fallen for Mason until Felix came out of nowhere, cockblocking me, which led me to furiously mutter under my breath and mind "GOD F@#*ING DAMMIT, FELIX!!"

My heart also ached for how much Sin was in pain who didn't want to hurt anyone but felt like he had to, resigned and trapped with no way out. I didn't hesitate to find any way to help him in anyway I could to free him. That's why near the end of the book I let him leave to live his life the way he wanted to. I couldn't stop imaging about giving him something to not just remind him of our budding friendship, but to also remind him to stay true to himself, and remind him that although he did do some terrible things, they don't define who he is, and that he has the right to been and feel happy as well when the guilt of his actions starts to consume him, whilst I'll also run and shout towards him when he flies of and leaves as I wave with a smile, "Goodbye! Stay safe!" I wonder how he'll react towards the mc doing this.

I can't wait for book four, as this time the stakes are dire, and the mc can even fall for the villian! I can't wait!!

Sorry for my ramblings, but I truly love the series that you've created and I cannot wait for what you have in store for us all. I hope you have a wonderful day. 😊😊

Aah, what an incredible message! I honestly cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me to read this! <3

It's interesting you saying about the similarities of A and M—It's kind of why it's always fun writing them when they end up paired off for a mission or something.

M is very honest with A (as can be seen with that rather cutting statement by a BFF M to a romanced A at the end of Book Three! But A kind of…gets M in some ways more than the others un Unit Bravo, and it's the same for M. They both know how in pain they are—emotionally or physically—and there's a very deep understanding and bond between them because of that.

I could go on about the unique bonds between each member of UB forever, so I'll stop not before it turns into an essay, hehe! :D

But yeah, I think Sin would love to hear that from the MC. No one has ever looked out for him or cared to before, so having someone they barely know do that for him would make a very big impact—and it does depending on your ending with him!

Thank you so so much for your wonderfully motivating message! <3

[holdinbacksecrets]

uninhibited (and drunk) voicemails from seventeen

forever sending gratitude and love to j @un-love for helping assign these

seungcheol: “i watched you tonight with another man. he held your hand and kissed your forehead. he drank your tea first to check the temperature. he made you laugh. for real. i know because you covered your mouth, still feeling insecure about how far it opens when the reaction can’t be avoided—when the something said was so funny it surprised you. you’re wearing red. your arms were exposed for a while, and i felt my eyes prick with tears at the sight of more tattoos on your skin. ones i didn’t know about. maybe ones you mentioned when they were still just possibilities in your head. not once did i think i wouldn’t see them actualized. not once did i imagine another man’s fingers brushing the ink through the motion of draping his jacket around your shoulders.”

jeonghan: “i’m at home and alone, and it’s wrong to call you. it’s so unfair to call you. i didn’t know how to tell you that the wanting is scary. that the way we love each other is impossible—not for a second do i believe it’s possible to have again, and i’m fucking afraid, probably because i know how much you’ve grown. the thought of letting you down leaves a sour taste, and i’m trying not to be so fucking afraid.”

joshua: “i’m sobering up now, sitting on my mom’s back porch. earlier, i was trying to describe the color of your hair. the best i could come up with was blue frosting like the cupcakes she made for my 10th birthday party. isn’t that outrageous? embarrassing? in my head was a poem, but the alcohol released the silliest set of words i could’ve possibly used to describe a part of you.”

jun: “everything is weird. everyone is strange to me today except for you. i’m drunk. i lost my shoes at some point in the night i think. i can’t recognize anyone around me. their voices don’t sound familiar. i wish you were here. i wish you’d tell me this is miserable for you too; it’s not worth it anymore. would you tell me the truth if i asked? sorry. what a stupid question. i don’t know anyone more honest.”

soonyoung: “i should’ve watched you all day more often. i dream about that. i wanted to, but something always had my attention or interrupted its focus on you. i’m laying here with my eyes closed, imagining all the moments i did watch and wondering if every single one pieced together could consume an entire day.”

wonwoo: “is it ok that i still have your spare key? i’d like to believe it’s something you’d ask to get back, but i wonder if that call isn’t worth making. if the idea of seeing me makes you anxious. but you trust me. out of everyone to still have access to your home, it’s ok that it’s me. i feel sad thinking about it.”

jihoon: “you baked cookies. i froze half of them. there’s one left, and i’m debating whether or not to eat it today. it’s freezing outside, and any view through my window is ruined by the snow. it feels like the perfect night for a cookie with what’s left of my second americano like i can risk losing sleep, but what will be left from you if i give in? everything else feels lifeless—it’s been so long since you’ve touch the clothes and read the books.”

seokmin: “i’m going to a wedding tomorrow. your old neighbor is getting married, and i thought about so many things when he sent me the invitation. i thought he was in love with you for the longest time. remember that? it took me months to admit. then he told me he’s just protective, and i realized there are so many people who see us and care without us ever knowing. so i wondered about a what if between us… what if our paths crossing was shallow and they never intertwined? what if you were just a woman in the grocery store who i’d see once in a while if the timing was right? how long would i think about you before forgetting your face, before forgetting i ever saw you? unless i never would and end up talking about you in my old age to adult children who only know i loved their mother.”

mingyu: “is it ok to call you in the middle of the night? you told me i could. years have passed since that conversation. *laughs* is it strange to think about us back then? how we started on a park bench, basically dated for two years on a park bench. i still think about how your approach to reach me gave away your feelings. you started poised, avoiding eye contact. then it became goofy looks and confident strides before calling my name and skipping to singing the song stuck in your head while you ran to me. i can’t help but wonder what would it look like now?”

minghao: “if you listen to this voicemail, can you tell me what you want? whatever comes to mind after hearing the question. from something small to something weird and the the thing you believe is better left unsaid as if i’d judge the answer, but i won’t. i have no reason to judge you. all i have is curiosity and love and hope for your every day, every want, every touch, every song you sing, every picture you hang, and every night spent barefoot on the balcony- i want to marry you.”

seungkwan: “there’s something on my mind. i’ve wanted to tell you all day. i thought about it at breakfast and started texting you before my manager called and interrupted. so here it is: i used to not understand how tired you’d be with me around. i thought i was boring you for the longest time until i visited my sisters. they exchanged a knowing smile before telling me you’re completely comfortable, that you feel safe enough to slip into the kind of vulnerability that only sleepiness and sleep allow, with your guard lowered, and your heart open. i appreciate how much of you i’ve seen, how deeply i know you—knew you… know you? hmm…”

hansol: “are you traveling? i hope you’re traveling. i know it’s something you promised to do at the start of your 26th year. where did you go? … are you taking lots of pictures? … how does the moon look? that’s your souvenir: the moon in the sky a thousand miles away from home. when you told me the moon thing, i realized i knew nothing about you, and i wanted to know everything.”

chan: “you were in the audience tonight? i didn’t… i wasn’t… thank you for coming. i mailed a ticket, but it was returned to sender. *clears throat* you’re the only person i couldn’t shake wanting to be there. do you know what i mean? people from our pasts we wish could still be present, especially for things they witnessed in early stages. i could shake off all the other absences… old friends, a mentor, but you… *sigh* no way.”

[totallynotokguys]

Lego Monkie Kid Rewatch: Special

Embrace You're Destiny Part 1/5

I like to imagine LBD didn't just put on eye shadow here. She's covered her entire face concealer, foundation, and make up. Employing every trick of the cometic trade to try and make herself look older.

Also, look at our Not-the-Mayor. He so blissfully happy. I kinda want to show it to my non-lmk-fan friends to see what vibe they pick up from these two.

I forgot how wonderfully condescending this villain was with Wukong. Usually Wukong is the one that gets under people's skins. Its kinda fun to see the tables reversed.

I need a stress toy that looks like that frog. Not so I can squeeze it.

No. Rather so I can pat it lovingly and set it calmly on a lily pad within a tranquil pod where it can gaze up into the endless sky as if questioning the meaning of life.

These faces.

I shall cherish these faces.

"You are the second most annoying person I know!"

Friendship status achieved!

"Its an inter dimensional weapon with a destructive power to burn through the very fabric of reality."

Inter dimensional? I didn't grasp the first time how outlandish and freaking scary that statement is. First, how does Red Son know this? Second, how did a little baby demon get born with a power from outside of their universe?

And does this mean it came from outside of Nuwa's order, that the Samadhi Fire is from or a part of chaos? Was it created by or snuck in like illegal contraband by the Nine-Headed Demon? What if the Samadhi Fire originally made/brought in by 9-guy to try and eat away the cycle so he could be free. But something about that plan back fired or failed and 9-Heads repurposed it in this later plan to help get the noodle gang and MK up to snuff defeating LBD for the future defeat of suped up Azure Lion. Was it them who put the fire in Red Son or was this an accident that got away from them which 9-snake-head found a way to work in their favour?

Love that Mei gives the same big glossy eyes of admiration for adorable puppies and over the top displays of power.

She has a unique sense of whats cute in her book.

I love that when Mei is opening up to Red Son and expressing her fear of losing control and hurting everyone, he has a flashback of himself losing control, not being enough, hurting others.

And then he tells her that that won't happen to her, because she and MK are protectors.

I love this so much, you don't understand. Red Son recognises that he failed. He lost control and hurt others. But Mei didn't. Not because she is more powerful than him or because he is just too weak himself. No, because when he had the fire, he laughed and reveled in the consuming destruction, even as it hurt him. But when Mei got the fire, she despaired. She screamed her anger over those who had hurt her friends, and then cried because she understood how the fire was hurting those she cared about. There was no joy, just anguish.

Mei is a protector, and that is what makes all the difference.

Red Son: 'Oh no! I was just emotionally vulnerable! Quick, act natural!'

Starts lecturing.

Wukong just brute forcing his way through her fancy protective spell work.

No finesse. Just powerhouse.

Wait…. is that?

I channeled my inner Macaque art skills for this one.

"I've known Sun Wukong a long time. He's not the loner he pretends to be."

What truth! How many centuries did he sit in his cave with that mural of his pilgrim brothers staring down at him?

"He seems important to you, so I can only assume you're equally as important to him. If there is anyone who he needs right now, its you."

How long has Nezha known this kid? And yet he is able to give the kid one of the most heartfelt and genuine pep talks I've heard all season. This is kinda what a good therapist is able to do. An outside perspective who knows just how to reach you in whatever mental state you are in from just a few interactions. They hear your fears, they see you're stress, and they equip you with the words and tools you need to keep fighting.

I know Most-Likely-Not-the-Mayor asked Wukong to dance, but it really feels like LDB and Not-Actually-Any-Kind-of-Mayor are the ones waltzing and Wukong is just the floor beneath their slippers. How expertly they move in time with one another! Probably-Jobless-and-Not-a-Mayor keeps Wukong busy then when his lady is ready, he just bats Wukong right into her waiting arms.

He ducked.

This floor is slippery.

Makeup gone! Wukong scared the eye shadow right off of her.

You can talk all you want lady. I know you're not as sure of yourself as you say.

"What about this guy! Is he in you're future!

"As a matter of fact. No."

Ouch. this is why I love her. She does not care. Also, her makeup is back. Guess she's back to being cool and collected.

I know, Ne Zha. I know. I too would have left him in the hole.

But MK is a different breed who wants to save everyone so don't you dare try and squash that kind heart of his. What a gem.

Although, knowing his original purpose was to sacrifice himself for the sake of all beings… then is this Mk being MK or is this him feeding into his ~Destiny~

I sense a lot more mental conflict in season 6 as MK wrestles with the question of what parts of his behaviour and actions is really him choosing his own path and what is him followoing the pre-writen coding Nuwa jammed in to make him the perfect sacrifice?

Another reminder that MK is not Wukong.

MK took the time out of his mission to protected Probably-Doesn't-have-an-ID-or-Birth-Certificate-So-No-Way-Could-He-have-Ever-been-the-Mayor while Wukong is willing to sacrifice the life of this innocent girl to stop Lady Bone Demon.

This scene of Wukong getting possessed shows up in so many AMVs and art that I forgot about the creepy manic laughter that was going on in the background. Suddenly, a shot I'd seen over and over with epic music and rising vocals, became different.

Thank you Victoria Grace for your chilling performance. You haunt the scene even when your not in focus.

New that bird was sus

Its weird that Macaque has such a strong connection to MK this season. Like… first season MK was just a means to an end. Macaque didn't care one way about the kid. But this season… He's constantly trying to protect MK in his own messed up way. From trying to teach him a lesson because he thinks MK is too much like Wukong to goading MK into fighting back so if he can have an excuse for why he never brought the kid to LBD.

And now hanging around to pull him back in the nick of time. What changed? Why is Macaque putting his neck out there for MK when he is so quick to throw everyone else under the bus to protect himself?

I go back to season 5, when Macaque challenges Wukong about why chose MK as his successor, and Wukong says he was just drawn to the kid, that there was something in the kid that just felt right. Does Macaque feel that too?

[onpurposeilovehimonpurpose]

An Incomplete List: Eleven

This moment is actually my favorite scene of Nick's acting that we see in the film. It perfectly illustrates #11. Can you imagine how scary it must've been for Henry to go out in public after he was outed? And he was there in that car alone, he didn't even have Shaan in the car with him. (Shaan was waiting for him, so maybe that helped, but that drive had to have been agony.) He wasn't able to have any contact with the outside world other than this cruel moment where he had to face the reporters waiting on him. There was no back entrance the car could go to? Or maybe the driver wasn't told to go in any other way? It feels like this was a punishment, forcing Henry to face the cameras and shouting reporters. (Just like how they tried to hide his support from the people at Buckingham.) Whoever made those decisions didn't care how it made Henry feel. He had no support from anyone here and broke down, as anyone would. But here's the thing that's so damn amazing about Henry. He keeps going. He doesn't give in entirely to the sadness, to the terror and anxiety that had to have been threatening to consume him. He is so incredibly strong here. He's been trained to deal with the public who behave like they have a right to accost him, trained to fear what they may say about him, so he learned to behave in a way that meant there was nothing but good things for them to write about him (mostly). Still, no amount of training could have ever prepared him for being cut off from the man he loves, from all means of support (other than Bea and Shaan, who are also wrapped up in the Crown and struggling), from his best friend, and simultaneously dealing with the knowledge that everything he wrote to Alex, and Alex to him, and the V&A footage, that was out there for everyone to read or see. The way he must've felt so flayed open, so incredibly invaded to his core. But he still keeps going. He keeps trying. He takes a deep breath, let's it out, and even if he forces himself to wear a mask to get through the hell he's about to deal with, he never stops trying.

I truly love Henry Fox and all of his layers. He is one of the most amazing characters that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and loving in such a way that he feels real. When it comes to these stunningly intense moments, sometimes I feel like even I know too much about him, that I'm a witness to things he has never given me permission to see. That's how real Henry feels to me sometimes, and this moment here in the film, where we see him shatter, then pick himself up moments later and keep trying, keep living, even with seemingly no light at the end of the tunnel, it's why I think out of all the amazing moments in the book and movie, this one resonates with me above all others and has since the first day I watched it.

[writing-for-life]

Considering this is a site where so many people have aspirations to become professional authors or artists, I think it’s really astounding that many (often the same) people encourage book piracy. And by that I mean: They don’t just do it behind closed doors (whatever, do what you have to do and keep it to yourself)—they actually package it as some act of immeasurable kindness in the name of “social justice”. And I’d say: If you’re not a professional author and have no experience in or with publishing, hence don’t really understand what it means to make your living as a writer, maybe just… don’t? And if you ever want to sell your books, maybe also just… don’t?

It’s not some cool subversive thing in the name of social justice you’re doing. You’re really hurting authors with it, and it’s in no way comparable to “fighting the big bad streamers.”

Yes, Neil Gaiman will be okay, but if you’re saying it’s okay to do it to him, you’re also saying by extension it’s okay to do it to lesser known authors. And those authors make up the vast (and I mean vast!) majority of authors. But maybe you’re one of those people who think that all artists are minted and picture them in La La Land, entirely possible. If that’s the case, maybe educate yourself what the median income of authors is, be very surprised and wake up. Sometimes, it really helps to think before hitting post. And if rants are not your thing, this is the exit sign because I’m not going to mince my words…

Here are a couple of really good comments from *that* post that people should maybe inwardly digest before they prioritise being oh-so-understanding and supportive of every Tom, Dick & Harry who “can’t afford the book” via piracy (how about buying them one instead if you care so much. No? Thought so) over supporting authors, artists and, yes, libraries:

(Re the last comment: Or use online libraries—they’re also free. That was also part of above post btw. Libby, Hoopla etc exist for a reason.)

If that’s all too hard, then let’s at least stop pretending on here that we care about supporting authors and artists while vocally supporting book piracy. Because really, it’s the same in all arts, even if the symptoms are slightly different—take it from one who is both a published author and used to be a stage performer.

And to say it quite frankly: These “ideas” are probably held by the same people who were tearfully blabbering about the arts being what kept them going during the pandemic and then forgot about it all when lockdown was over. Or maybe they are the same people who think that art is a “jolly pastime”, and that everyone should just be content to “do it for the love of it and give their art away for free because awwwww, so amazing, here, buy food with my exposure bucks.” Go on then, write and consume fanfics and create fanart, problem solved. Just don’t ever ask for the pro art that inspires it again. Ah no, I forgot, it’s all made for money and soulless anyway, innit? Why oh why then do you want to consume and pirate it though?

You’re not progressive and/or supportive of artists. You just have no clue how making a living in the arts works and think your comfort (= “I have to have all the things even if I can’t afford them”) matters more than someone’s livelihood (namely that of the people who devoted their lives to creating that art for you), and it really shows.

I don’t care about anyone’s Google history and even said so several times on here when people asked (this is the latest one, and yes, I see the people who had a “reaction” to this one or the reblog above, but I bet that’s “coincidence”). Do whatever you want to do, it’s your choice, keep it to yourself. But stop pretending that piracy means “caring about the noble cause”, because repackaging entitlement as social activism is performative crap…

[butterflyscribbles]

So I haven’t talked nearly enough about Mutant Mayhem yet but I saw it for the second time a few days ago and they have consumed all my thoughts have some random headcanons I’m dying I have to talk about them more:

⚠️(Spoiler warning for MM as well)⚠️

April

- Lives with her mom and grandfather on her mother’s side. Raised by a single mom who’s a veterinarian and her grandpa, a retired tailor and clothing retail manager, moved in after her grandma passed away a few years ago.

- Listens to way too many murder mystery podcasts and thrillers are her favorite movie genre

- Practices doodling a lot in the sides of her journal or class notes. She’s inspired by courtroom sketch artists and old biology journals.

- Swears like a sailor. Even more than Raph. Tries to censor herself around them but it only gets worse the closer they become as friends

- Becomes a sort of ambassador for the turtles and other mutants in the city. Anyone who doesn’t approve of them, goes through her…

- Favorite subject is biology, outside of working on the school newspaper of course

Leo

- Big time book worm. Has read a lot of the classics like The Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye, etc. which gives him an advantage heading into high school. His favorite subject is literature naturally as a result.

- Autistic, practically canon but just putting it out there

- Like April, he’s got a sensitive stomach under pressure. Nausea flares up all the time, especially at the sight or smell of blood. They bond over it. Nothing brings two people together like commiserating that your tummy hurts all the time🤝

- Hopeless romantic. Had fallen head over heels for a few other girls he spotted up top even before April came along. She was just…different. He watches a lot of sappy romance movies too they make him feel all warm and fuzzy.

- Love language is words of affirmation big time. He’s always about hyping up the people he loves and will defend them through anything.

Raph

- He’s the team medic in this iteration. He’s no professional but growing up he had so many injuries from being a scrappy lil dude that he picked up on how to take care of ‘em on his own and of course shares that knowledge with his bros and April later. He’s surprisingly gentle when he needs to be.

- He’s the most prone to nightmares/night terrors. The fact that Raph was the one to go seek comfort from Splinter in the tots scene is so important to me.

- He and Donnie are the anime enthusiasts. Hasn’t seen as many as Donnie but it’s close.

- Scratching his shell gently, especially up by the shoulder blades, is like an automatic snooze button. He passes out within minutes.

- Second biggest crybaby to Mikey. It happens when he feels any emotion too strongly whether it’s happiness, anger, sadness, etc. and he hates it. Makes him feel weak, which is why there usually is a lot of punching involved too.

Donnie

- Can’t swim and is the only one who actively dislikes getting into the water.

- He and Leo have been studying how to speak and write Japanese together for years. Don has picked up a lot from all the anime he watches.

- Is the most emotionally open version of Donnie to date. He’s always telling his family how much he loves them without restraint and is the first to ask what’s wrong if he picks up on someone acting weird or trying to hide something.

- To compliment the above hc, he’s insanely observational, like Sherlock level. They don’t know how he’s able to do it but his attention to detail and his ability to take that and create plans and get a read on people is baffling. If Donnie doesn’t get a good vibe off someone, believe him and run the other way. (Makes him really good at those spot the different puzzles too lol.)

- Loves to dance just like his previous incarnation before him:’) Bootyyyshaker9001

Mikey

- Is actually afraid of cats…growing up with Splinter, who would freak out at the sight of them, only taught him to freak out along with him. They are sharp and unpredictable.

- Other than that however he’s an animal lover. Had a few pet fish through the years that he saved after being flushed.

- Practically canon but the most physically affectionate by leagues. Constantly seeking a brother, adopted mutant family member, or an April to cling to.

- Super into musicals and is a actually a decent singer

- Can take a punch like nothing you’ve ever seen and can still be standing….but gets sick constantly his immune system is wack

[beargyufairy]

Just My Thoughts Pt. 7

Natsu’s Growth

I’ve been disappointed a few times at how Hiro Mashima writes his characters and plot. But never have I ever been as disappointed as I was when I read this panel in the 100 YQ.

For reference, Natsu made a joke about disinfecting Lucy’s burns. It was not even a funny joke. I don’t think anyone laughed. Lucy was burned after trying to calm Natsu who consumed Ignia’s flames to battle against the water dragon god. While he did succeed in the fight, he lost control of himself and was stumped by the flames.

This is such a disappointing situation when it comes to Natsu and his development as a character. Everything he experienced in the original manga/anime is put to shame. It’s like his growth as a person disappeared into thin air. I mean come on!! Is Mashima being serious right now?! Because am I supposed to believe this is the same Natsu who wouldn’t let Gray use Ice Shell on more than one occasion?! Natsu knows the consequences of Ice Shell and refuses to let that happen to Gray no matter how dire the circumstances are. Even though Gray and Natsu would never admit it, their relationship is unique and filled with love. They may be rivals and opposite (considering the ice/fire, demon/devil slayer attributes) but their friendship has grown so much since the start of Fairy Tail. Doesn’t this show how considerate Natsu is?! How important the lives of his friends is to him?

If that isnt enough here’s another example. When Erza was sacrificing herself in the Tower of Heaven arc, Natsu refused to let her go and eventually saved her. Erza is important to him and Fairy Tail. He wants her to live on. Doesn’t this show how much Natsu cares about everyone?! Is he making a joke about Erza?! No he isn’t.

Okay fine those examples aren’t about Lucy right, so why does it matter?! Because Natsu would never joke about burning his friends, accident or not. And if it’s about Lucy, then most definitely not. Lucy is probably the member of Fairy Tail he cares about the most (aside from Happy). When Future Lucy died, Natsu almost went completely rogue (pun intended, if you know what I mean). He even stated that something precious was taken from him. Furthermore, when Lucy was “dead” during the Alverez arc, Natsu lost it. Literally, he became END, the demon everyone fears, the strongest creation of Zeref, the black wizard. Lucy’s life was so important to him that without it, there was nothing holding him back. He even stated that he can’t be stopped after having flashbacks about her supposed death.

Natsu couldn’t care less about the world ending. He wanted to fight the people that made Lucy cry. That’s what he was focused on. And so after all this, Mashima wants me to believe that Natsu would joke about burning Lucy?! Yeah, I don’t think so. After everything Natsu went through, he would’ve at least felt guilty. Considering that it was Lucy of all people he burned, he would’ve apologized over and over again. Why?! Because she’s so important to him. He literally became a demon when he thought she died!! Isn’t that proof enough?! I also think that he would feel so grateful to her. This isn’t the first time Lucy helped Natsu control himself. She’s always there for him. But Natsu has never lost control like this before. Did Natsu ever properly thank Lucy for saving by rewriting the book of END?! He’s literally only alive because of her. She tampered with a demonic force and black magic yet Lucy is so damn under appreciated that it pains me!!

If the goal was to lighten the situation considering the intensity of the battle against the water dragon god and Ignia’s involvement, a joke that doesn’t make Lucy’s burn seem pathetic would’ve been better. A joke about anything else would’ve been better. Seriously, Lucy knew the consequences of trying to stop Natsu, especially when noting that she was scared of his flames for the very first time. She did anyway because she cares about Natsu and knows that she can help him, even if it means she will get burned. I would also like to note that Lucy never actually saw Natsu as END. She arrived after he gained some sense of control. Considering everything, if Hiro Mashima doesn’t make up to me by having her fear of Natsu’s flame and her lack of experience with END play into the story I’m gonna be so mad. Since he already disappointed me with how he’s treating Lucy’s injury/burn, I really hope he plays the rest of the story properly.

I’m very disappointed in how not only Natsu’s character is being portrayed and downgraded, but also how Lucy is yet again the butt of the joke. She does so much for her team and friends but is always ignored (I’m still upset about Aquarius’ sacrifice that’s not talked about enough).

Thank you for listening.

[mybookhaven]

The Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson

High fantasy - Detailed world building - mental health

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5)

I will not be the first person to be completely taken in by the depth of the worlds created by Sanderson, but I couldn’t just ignore the huge crater they have left in my mind. I have grown to care deeply about all the characters of this series (MINOR and major), and would consider these books to be amongst my favorite reads ever. The scope of the plot is absolutely enormous yet very easily understood thanks to Sanderson's magical abilities (yes magical abilities because goodness he CAN WRITE), and i cannot wait till i've consumed every single book ever in the Cosmere.

The series follows a group of humans that come from very different backgrounds as they try to save their people, and the planet they call home from "invasion" by what is known as voidbringers. Sanderson introduces us to Kaladin (the sad wet cat baby boi we all love) as the first narrator of the books and how he struggled for years with high-borns, war, and slavery events that were responsible in part for shredding his mental health to pieces. We then meet Shallan (THE CHARACTER for me) who has evidently been through a lot (also shredded mental health) that we will slowly figure out as events unfold. Jasnah, sister to the king, scholar royalty, with most probably a mixture of some kind of shredded mental health, autism, and "aro" something that is not very clear relationship with romance. I will limit myself to these three characters because i could go on forever with every single person in this series (i am not exaggerating).

The writing style is very much accessible. I'm used to fantasy having all kinds of complicated narratives that get in the way of grasping the progress of the plot, but this series is anything but that. Every character's point of view is written in their unique sound (fascinatingly so with Shallan and her ehem buddies) and interestingly we get to experience two sides of every character, their own pov and the way other people perceive them which was very beautiful to read (and incredibly obvious with Jasnah).

These books deal with so much heavy and morally ambiguous topics in surprising detail that i felt i was reading actual events about a place that exists somewhere in our universe. Metal health, slavery, colonialism, war, religion and so so much more that i really cannot understand the power behind the creation of these books.

Most importantly, as it's something i struggled with when i first decided i wanted to read Sanderson's work, these books are very easily understood without having to read the other books in th Cosmere, but people who do will experience a much bigger world with more connections to other events, worlds and "gods" that actually reflects the scope of THE STORY Brandon Sanderson is writing.

I am definitely going to read the rest of the cosmere and will attach a youtube link to anyone interested in starting that suggests the best way to get into the Cosmere that will put events chronologically in a sense.

[csuitebitches]

Book Review: Book 1: Stop People Pleasing (a 9-part series by Patrick King, “Be Confident and Fearless.”)

I’m reading a 9-part series by Patrick King, “Be Confident and Fearless.” His books talk about becoming assertive, saying no, not people pleasing anymore and being confident. Generally, such books are quite generic but I found his take on the subject interesting. His techniques to handle certain situations seem to be quite doable too. His techniques have been highlighted in bold.

Book One: “Stop People Pleasing”

A people-pleaser is worried about rejection. They have a need, as we all do, to be accepted and treasured—to be loved. But in people-pleasers, this need is amplified to the extent that they will bend over backward just to not lose that love or acceptance. This is more invalidating than giving an honest opinion.

-

In reality, people-pleasers continued promises and inaction just tick their friends off, as it becomes apparent that they are willing to be dishonest and only say what people want to hear.

-

They’re not really doing what they do to improve someone else’s life—they just want to feel more positive about themselves.

-

Living under the limitations of our own viewpoint, we tend to think everyone in our circle is looking at and judging how we look and behave. At most, maybe a couple of people are paying attention to most of your moves, and they’re likely people you’re already close to who are supposed to know you better than anyone else.

-

When you’re so consumed with the perceived needs of others, you’re not paying yourself any attention. You could be overlooking or ignoring things you need to do to take care of yourself.

-

Avoiding confrontation for fear that it might only make things worse ironically results in the very outcomes it’s meant to deflect. The absence of confrontations doesn’t mean your relationship is all healthy, and the presence of confrontations doesn’t mean your relationship has gone to the dogs.

-

The BLUE model is a specific CBT strategy developed by PracticeWise to help counter negative thinking. BLUE is an acronym that stands for the kind of extremely negative thoughts you should recognize in yourself when they do pop into your head. “B” stands for blaming myself, “L” is looking for bad news, “U” means unhappy guessing, and “E” represents exaggeratedly negative thoughts.

-

What many people-pleasers fail to see is that sacrificing so much of themselves in pursuit of serving everyone else around them is sabotaging their very capacity to continue being there for others when it truly matters.

-

Rejecting an invite is not the same as rejecting your friend and that prioritizing your own peace of mind by just settling into a restful weekend is totally okay.

-

Ask yourself, “What are the things I do to be happy?” or “What are the core beliefs I have about my worth as a person?”

-

Exposure therapy is the process of deliberately placing yourself in situations that cause you fear and anxiety. You’ll need to immerse yourself in your feared situations in a gradual and progressive manner, starting from situations that cause the least anxiety and later advancing to those that cause the most intense feelings of fear.

-

Creating your fear hierarchy. The fear hierarchy is an ordered list of situations that elicit your fears and anxieties.

-

The first habit we must develop is the habit of self-awareness. We don’t understand why we people-please, and we’re not aware when we’re doing it.

This begins with questioning the motives for your actions: “Why exactly am I going out of my way for this person?” “Do I genuinely care for them, or am I just afraid of what might happen without them?” “Would I be doing this out of free will, or am I doing it for someone else?”

Take note of the moment you’re starting to feel internal resistance. When that happens, stop everything and question why you’re doing it.

-

The second habit to cultivate is the habit of personal autonomy. An autonomous person knows what they truly believe and why they believe it. But the differences that you’ve valued your own opinion over that of others. Or you’ve at least valued it equally and not by habit put your own opinion as inferior to that of others.

-

That’s why it’s important to get into the habit of expressing yourself honestly. The more you communicate where you stand, the more people will know where you’re coming from (and what your limits are). After all, people can’t read minds, and to expect others to know what you want is an impossible task.

-

Remain strong under pressure. When you stop people-pleasing, you will face some angry reactions. It’s not necessarily their fault because you have conditioned their expectations. But this is where you must not fold under pressure, like you previously would have. It only takes five seconds of extreme willpower, and it gets easier every time thereafter.

-

How to set boundaries:

1. Determine your core values

2. Change yourself and only yourself. You dont control other people

3. Set consequences of someone else breaking your boundaries. Write down the boundaries you have, the actions others might take that trespass those boundaries, and exactly what you will do when they’ve violated your boundaries.

4. Communicate your boundaries to others in very exact terms. Make sure everybody’s very, very clear on what your limits are.

-

If you tell yourself “I can’t,” you’re simply reminding yourself of the limitations you’ve set for yourself. You’re creating a feedback loop in your brain that tells you that you can’t do something that you would normally want to do.

When you tell yourself “I don’t,” you’re creating a feedback loop that reminds you of your power and control of the situation. You’ve given yourself a line in the sand that takes the situation out of your hands. Your choice was premade to say no and thus you can stick to it more easily.

[violetasteracademic]

I saw a reddit post a while back talking about how “obvious” gwynriel is, with hundreds of upvotes and everyone agreeing, saying that it’s exactly how SJM sets up her love interests, and it makes me feel like a crazy person.

I agree that SJM is obvious with her couples, but for me the only logical obvious answer is elriel. The entire time I was reading the series it couldn’t have been more obvious, and all my irl friends feel the same. We didn’t even know gwynriel was a thing. They barely interact in the books, and even then it’s only vaguely friendly and mostly one-sided. Then I get online and see all of these people who genuinely believe it’s gwynriel that’ll be endgame and I can’t understand how we’ve read the same books.

This is the only reason I question elriel at all; am I somehow missing something? What the hell are these people seeing that overshadows elriel’s foreshadowing? I just can’t see it from their point of view, no matter how many theories or analyzing I read from them. I almost wished I could so that this ship war wouldn’t be so frustrating, but I just can’t.

Sorry to throw this rant at you, your posts and explanations are just very comforting and you explain things so well. I read them whenever I’m worried to assure myself I’m not crazy :,)

Hi sweet anon!

I certainly don't think you are crazy or missing anything, and I'm glad to know that some of my posts have brought you comfort. That is my one and only goal.

I've been getting more and more messages like this in my inbox, and I've been struggling with how to answer them because I've learned that a lot of my thoughts don't really fit in with the fandom at large. I don't mind that other ships exist. I have real life G/wynriel and E/lucien friends that are very chill and wonderful and not knee deep in the online fandom and don't think horrific misogynistic things. I stay out of spaces where I'm bound to see something hurtful, and I scroll so fuckin fast when I see the Elriel community screenshotting and reblogging bad takes cause I *don't wanna see it.*

I'm just a girl, and while I'm honored that this little weirdo's opinion has become of some value in this little comfy cafe corner I'm trying to build here, I don't want to say the wrong thing and make people feel discredited and invalidated. I've learned that people really like being in the drama and venting and focusing on how badly the other side is behaving, which I don't really like, and it often leaves me at odds with my own "side" of the war. But since you are here in my asks, I'll share my thoughts. Please know I am saying this with all the tender love and care in my heart, but I say:

Just let them exist. You don't need to understand. You also don't need to let it worry you. None of us are in control of the ships that are sailing in this war. So for whatever it is worth, I want to encourage you to try to stay away from the spaces that make you feel upset, confused, hurt, or angry.

We are all honestly similar in ways that might be hard to admit. If we are here, deep into this fandom, we are probably connected in a number of ways. Maybe we're a little bit lonely (me), a little bit mentally ill (me), a little bit hyper-fixated (me). Maybe we are easily consumed and obsessed, and don't have anywhere for that energy to go in our real lives and so we live on in a chronic state of escape and disassociation (yep, me).

We are also an exceptionally small percentage of SJM's readership, and we take things as far as a fan could possibly take them. This is not how most readers are interacting with her work. So to see hundreds of upvotes on something, even thousands, yes- it seems like a lot. But it's not actually that much in terms of SJM's actual numbers. Anyone on reddit, tumblr, tiktok, ect, is looking for community and people who share their thoughts and likes and dislikes. I think this is often why a lot of non canon ships actually grow more popular than canon ships, because people are here looking for a road the written story will not take them down.

I don't think it's strange or offensive or unhinged that ships other than Azriel or Elain exist and are popular. I *do* think its a little odd that this fandom has taken the stance of proving non-canon things as canon instead of just enjoying crackships, but I can't honestly sit here and say my posts proving "canon" to try to comfort people who want the same fictional couple as me is not the exact same behavior. I think I'm right. They think they are right. There will come a day when Sarah lets us know what she has decided, and it's out of our hands. But the ships will live on.

I love so many non canon ships, and I engage with them here every day. This is what fandom is for. I think this fandom in particular would be a lot less toxic if we would just live and let live and leave each other be. I am gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic. They are gonna keep making theory posts and writing fanfic.

Take care of yourself. Rock the block button. Strangers on the internet do not get unfettered access to me or you or anyone else just because we are online. Set some boundaries for yourself. Lurk where you feel good.

I hope my page continues to be one of those places where you can lurk to feel better. And if that ever changes, block me. I encourage it deeply. I actually feel relieved when I can see that someone has blocked me, because I know they are taking care of themselves and also saved me the time and energy of trying to diffuse an argument.

I hear your frustrations. I know it sucks to want to go on reddit if that has been a fun and comforting space for you, and now it feels overrun and not safe and not fun. Grieve that. We obviously all care very deeply, and that's okay. It's nothing at all to be ashamed of.

But at some point, we are all gonna have to learn to live with each other, because no matter what happens in canon, the ships are not going anywhere.

Take care of yourself, anon. And I hope you continue to find comforting spaces to rest.

[rs-hawk]

Do you have any writing tips? Even if it’s not necessarily for smut?

I won’t be touching on tips for smut at all on this post but I can make a separate post for it if y’all want.

My Top 10 Writing Tips

Love all your characters. Yes, even your antagonists. Hell, especially your antagonists. Even if they’re evil for the sake of being evil, if you want a 3 dimensional character, you have to acknowledge that they’re more than just evil to someone. Their mother. Their friends. Their dog. You have to think of their motivations, and honestly?-acknowledge that every character you write has a part of you in them. Maybe just your anger, your fear, your trauma, but love them for that, and it’ll shape them and your works in ways you never thought of.

Don’t reread your work too often! It’s hard (so very very hard) but when you have to crank out 2k words a day every day of the month but 2 it gets easier. Lol. Fr though just keep chugging along. You can reread later. You can edit later. Just get it done.

Don’t edit too much while you’re still actively writing. I know that’s hard, I really do, but if you keep rewriting, you’ll never be able to finish. You’ll keep writing a handful of scenes over and over again until you hate it, your book and yourself for “giving up”. You can edit later.

Write for yourself. It doesn’t matter how good of a writer you are, how beautiful or eloquent your style, if you hate it with every fiber of your being, it’ll turn to dust in your hands. I consider writing work, and when people enjoy themselves at work, not only do they do better, but the consumer enjoys it more. Think about it. If you’re at a restaurant and the workers are laughing and smiling with each other and seem genuinely happy, you’re more likely to go back than if they’re miserable, on the verge of tears and seem to hate being there, right? The same is true for your writing. Readers will enjoy it more if they can feel how much you enjoyed creating it.

Don’t just write. Listen to music. Get up and go for a walk. Text/call a friend. Watch a TV show. Pet your cat. Experience something. It helps you write but it also reminds you that hey, you’ve been here like eight hours. Get something to drink. Take a screen break. Go outside.

Be comfortable while you write. I’m not going to lecture you on posture because I’m currently laying down with my legs drawn up under me, my upper body turned and my phone in the air because I’m trying to put enough pressure on my lower back to pop it. Anyway, even if you can’t stay in one position long, switch. Listen to your body. A “proper” posture can end up hurting you if you don’t ever relax or if you’re putting too much pressure on your lower spine. It’s okay to lean. It’s okay to lay down. It’s okay to sit cross-legged. Just not at the expense of your body. Be aware, and don’t forget to get up and stretch!

Take breaks. Eat. Drink. Stretch. Go to the bathroom. Some people need them scheduled, and that’s fine, but also listen to your body. If you need to use the toilet but you don’t have another break scheduled for an hour, just go. Pause your timer or delay your alarm if you want, but take care of yourself.

Don’t be too rigid with your “starting” plot. We know most of us have that one scene or one character in mind we want to write, so we create a plot around them. That’s fine and I love it, but your writing is like a living creature. You might change while writing it. Your characters and ideas might change while writing it. Let them change. Let you change! You can edit later.

Remember it’s not a race. Just because you see some people dropping 3 novels a year, or 5 Tumblr posts every day doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. No one can write what you write. No one can create what you can create. Your work deserves to exist and be judged on its own merit. Not compared to anyone else’s, even if it’s you five years ago who could crank out multiple posts daily. It’s okay.

Don’t expect anything. Start writing because you love it. It makes you happy. It itches that part of your brain that no other hobby does. That no other love does. I’ve been writing for about 15 years now. I don’t know who I am without it. I have tried giving it up, moving past it, doing other things, but I always come back. Nothing else makes me feel the way writing does. I have gone years without writing, but when I start writing again, it’s like a high. I can go for hours, and I have! I have been lucky to be able to monetize my work, but it took 10+ years and was only because I got goofy about werewolves on a PTR app. You can’t go into the arts and expect to make money right away, or ever. You can hope, and do your best, but don’t only do it because you think you’ll make a living. It’s a sad but real fact. Capitalism makes us think we should only do stuff we can make money off of, but that’s a lie. You can AND SHOULD create just to create. Humans are meant to make art, and if writing is your canvas like it is mine, write to create. Fuck capitalism. Your art existing is enough reason to create it.

[vindicated-truth]

(Originally written here)

The idea of "binge-watching" comes from the idea of "binge-eating", in which we try to "consume" as much as we can, as fast as we can. That's the downside of the modern age, where everything is quickly accessible and the attention-span of the average viewer is very short-lived.

I grew up in the age before streaming, where we had to wait for our favorite shows on television and sit through all the commercials in between, or to actually go out in cinemas and pay for the experience of a bigger screen and a better sound system.

There's something to be said about the patience and rapt attention needed in watching shows like that, because otherwise you'd miss the important details. There's something to be said about how, unlike the streaming services of today, you can't pause, rewind, screenshot scenes, and so you have to make sure you live in each moment of the story, because you can't easily go back to it anytime. And you can't pause to catch your bearings, so you have to power through each moment, too.

Beyond Evil is the kind of the story that shouldn't be binged. The way it's beautifully, meticulously, lovingly crafted is meant to be savored. Each scene is not just a means to get through the next; each scene is significant. There's a reason each scene is there. There's a reason why we're looking straight into the actor's eyes, why we're hanging onto every word they say, why the music is played at that moment to amplify emotion, why the silence is there to maximize the impact, why there is rain and why there is sunshine, why there is food on the table, and why there is a seat reserved for a person they're waiting for.

True enjoyment of Beyond Evil hearkens back to true enjoyment of food, and true enjoyment of stories: we're meant to sit and relish the taste of it on our tongue, the emotions it makes us feel, the thoughts it makes us reflect on. Beyond Evil is so rich with meaning, like food that's bursting with flavour, lovingly crafted by the people behind it—the writer, the director, the cinematographer, and most importantly, the actors—who have such a profound understanding of what the story means.

Kim Sujin had once said in her introduction to the script book:

"I thought about my social responsibility but, after all, I don’t want my writing or drama to hurt anyone alive. For those who have been waiting for their families who have disappeared for years and decades, and for the bereaved families of many victims who have actually experienced murders, it was the most important goal of <Monster> (Beyond Evil) to not display murders or give the perpetrator a narrative of understanding. But to tell the story of the bereaved family that no one listens to, to give a voice to the victim who cannot speak for themselves."

This, more than anything, is why Beyond Evil is meant to make us chew and taste and savor the meaning of the story, and not just mindlessly swallow to keep going at bite after bite. There is so much more at stake with a story like this, precisely because it's a social commentary that didn't have to call upon supernatural elements or fantasy or sensationalized crime to portray what true evil is. That reality is often so much more gruesome and horrifying than anything fiction can ever portray.

Because, more than anything, Beyond Evil refuses to give a narrative to the killers, and the killing, because it knows the most important story to be told are those of the victims, and the loved ones that are left behind.

It's the kind of story that we're meant to sit down and be patient with, and watch with rapt attention and curious wonder, knowing that a story like this isn't the kind that can be repeated or imitated anytime by just anyone—precisely because of the profound care and love and advocacy that had been put into it.

So as the audience: don't worry about binging Beyond Evil. Let it settle on you slowly, like the most remarkable taste on your tongue, so that you'll remember not to take stories like this for granted—the way the victims' voices never should have been.

[frenziedslashers]

So I have read C'mere Honey bear about three times now 👉👈 and I am in love with the way that you write the big teddy bear. Do you think you could write something where Megan's S/O helped Dwight help the others to get Negan to stop? Maybe she knew Negan before he went rogue and she wanted him to be the man he once was. She still loves him and is only helping because she knows Rick won't kill him. Maybe before she gets caught she gets pregnant, though? It's Negans obviously, and she tells Rick and he allows her to stay in Alexandria to stay near Negan 👉👈 I just think it would be cute and I would love to read how you would portray how he would react to the news. (Female reader if that's okie 🥺 I love all of your TWD stuff so much!!)

Father of Mine;;

A/N: STOP THIS IS SO CUTE - thank you for the request anon and sorry if this is shitty. Hitting a writing block rn fr.

Pairing: Negan x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy, Canon Typical Violence, swearing, Negan (He's a warning himself let's be fr), Negan makes jokes about sex because it's Negan. Lmk if I need to add more!

TWD MASTERLIST || REQUEST INFO

Negan wasn't always as evil as he was. You had once known a man that would fight to survive. One that would look for the light and still keep you and himself safe. Until one day that darkness seemed to consume him just as much as it consumed the earth. He was still in love with you, you knew it. He looked at you with those same adoring eyes, and he never once hurt you. He was just, different. He went from a man who would only fight for you. To one who now fought for hundreds. Keeping them scared while "protecting" them for his advantage.

You hated it, but you couldn't leave him. You still loved him just as much as he loved you. He was all that you had left, and you couldn't bare to let him go.

It wasn't until the whole Rick Grimes situation came around that you saw a light at the end of the grim and damp tunnel that you had been tracking through for the past years. You had found out it was Dwight who was helping him and helped the man in secret yourself. Giving him tips for Negans plans. If only in return Dwight would ask Rick to spare Negan. You couldn't live with yourself if you were the reason he got killed. He was your husband, and you loved him more than you cared to admit.

When Rick did finally end it all, you thanked him over and over. Tears rolled down your face when you realized the man had finally put an end to all of the violence that you had to endure. The violence that the love of your life had caused.

"Can I go with you? I swear, I just want to see him. He's my husband, I can't," you choked, and he nodded. "Yeah, you can come, you try anything though, and yer gone." Rick sneered at you and you nodded in understanding. Yet, you could tell the people around him didn't seem to agree as much.

You could care less what anyone else thought, though. You just needed to be near the man you fought so hard to save.

You hated what they did to him. You asked them to not hurt him, but you also knew if Rick hadn't done what he did. Then Negan wouldn't have gone back to Alexandria willingly. It was definitely a nice surprise for the previous leader when he woke up after being questioned by the gang to see you by his side. You were curled into a chair beside his bed, a book in your hands while you read and waited for his awakening.

"Whatcha readin' sugar?" He asked, his voice so fragile and hoarse. It made your chest clench while your eyes shot up to meet his.

"You're awake?" You had to ask in disbelief. Your lower lip quivered as you moved to hold his hands. "I thought you never would, I thought I might have lost you," you rambled, and he smiled despite the pain. "You're stuck with me," he croaked out, and you nodded with a soft sob.

His lips pulled down into a frown as he reached up to brush a few stray tears from your face. "Don't," he spoke, unable to continue. Wincing at the pain that shot through his neck when he spoke, you shook your head. "Don't talk, and I'll stop crying for you. Please, get rest, baby." You cooed, and he offered a weak smile. His eyes danced over yours as you leaned up to kiss his forehead with so much love.

"I love you, now get some rest. I'll be back to see you tomorrow, okay?" You told him with a smile and he did his best to smile back. His eyes watched you close when you moved down to press a gentle kiss on his lips.

God, the shit he'd do to have you hold him and just kiss him.

---

It wasn't only a month and Rick had your husband thrown in a cell. Locked away like he was the boogeyman. No light would shine upon him again besides what could bleed through the tiny window in his cell.

Sure, he did some regrettable things. You sure didn't agree with all of them, like killing Abraham and Glenn. That was uncalled for, but the people who claimed to be heroes weren't any better. So many innocent lives were taken. Women and children who couldn't defend themselves. Hell, a couple of your friends were murdered in cold blood, and anytime you saw Rick you had the urge to lunge. If it weren't for Negan still being alive, and the baby growing inside of you. You might have.

"You have an hour to talk to him. I will be right outside this door, if I suspect anything is happening, you're leaving." Michonne ordered, and you nodded, thanking the woman with a soft smile before slipping past the door.

His head shot up when he heard the door open and close. He was still weak, and everything hurt. He was still determined to meet you at the bars that separated you both. "Hey, beautiful," he chimed with that sweet grin that could manipulate you into doing about anything for him. A small smile of your own graced your lips. "Hey, handsome." His smile was even more than before just from hearing your words.

His hands were wrapped tight around the bars. His knuckles only grew whiter the closer you got to him. He swore being apart from you was worse than any punishment. He missed holding you at night. He missed seeing you most of the day. He missed you.

When you reached out and placed your fingers over his hand. His whole body seemed to slump forward. His forehead pressed against the bars of his cage while his eyes fell shut. "I never thought I'd see you again when they tossed me down here." He sighed, and you nodded while reaching through the bars to hold his face with a soft smile. "Well, they can't keep me away from you. I'm too mean. I'd start a fight if they kept me from seeing my husband," he only smiled more at that.

You were right, too. You had to be a little mean to keep up with Negan and the Saviors. It's what he loved so much about you. You were sweet as honey. But damn, could you be a bitch if you really wanted to be.

Your hand dropped from his face to his calloused fingers on the bar. Unwinding his fingers from the metal while pulling his large hand through it to link your fingers with his. "Plus, I got a surprise for you that I know you'll love," you winked, and his face lit up.

A thousand thoughts were running through his head. His mind was practically bubbling with excitement. "Is it sexual? I'm damn near about to bust just thinkin' about you sucking my dick through this cell." He joked with a wolfish grin and a low chuckle. His laugh grew more genuine when you swatted his chest with your other hand.

"Negan! Michonne is right out that door! She could take me out of here, you know?" He sighed, "I miss feeling you, though," he whined a little, and you rolled your eyes with an amused grin. "God, you're so immature sometimes." you snickered, and he only smiled. "Wouldn't want me any other way. Now would you?" You shook your head with a hum. He was right. He kept you entertained. You wouldn't trade his personality for the world.

He started shifting a little from foot to foot. The man grew anxious while waiting for you to tell him about this wonderful surprise. "So, if you aren't givin' me a piece, what's going on, sugar?" He wondered out loud.

His stomach felt like it was tearing itself apart when all you did was smile. Your eyes were wide and filled with emotions he couldn't quite place. His eyes dropped to your intertwined hands when you pulled them to your stomach. Placing his large hand over your belly. He was confused, to say the least. Then it all started coming together. Pieces of a puzzle that his brain was slowly fitting with one another. His eyes were floating back up to your own once he realized.

"You're gonna be a dad, Negan," He couldn't speak after you told him. His ears felt like they were filled with cotton. His eyes darted around the room while he experienced every emotion at once. He was thrilled. You and he talked about kids before all this. You both wanted a little cub to call your own, but he was locked away. What would become of a kid with a father locked behind bars?

He flinched when your hands held the side of his face. Your thumbs brushed away tears that he didn't even realize fell down the apples of his cheeks. "Negan," you cooed, and he could see the worry in your eyes. That look that told him you might be regretting even telling him. He didn't want you to feel that way, though. He was thankful that you told him. He needed you to know that.

"Honey, that's amazing," He told you, bearing his teeth with a wide grin, "Guess I was just hoping I'd be able to hold my kid, you know? And my super hot wife," even with the part he added at the end of his sentence you couldn't smile. You felt the same pain that he was feeling. If Rick had never shown up, he could be there throughout your pregnancy. He could hold your baby when it was born. Rick ripped away the joy of having a baby from you and Negan. In any other situation, you knew the man in front of you would be bouncing off the walls excited and telling everyone in a five-mile radius that he was going to be a daddy.

Now? Now he was standing in front of you with a ten-mile stare. His hand was still lovingly placed on your stomach, but you could tell he was scared.

"I've been talking with Michonne and Rick, Michonne doesn't like it, but Rick said if you behave right. He'd give you days to come out. You'll have to work to own your keep, but you could be with me and the baby," you assured, and you saw a sliver of hope in his eyes. His worries seemed to fade, and he seemed more excited than before. "I promise you, baby, I'll get on their good side and I will be there for you and that kid. I will hold my baby, you better believe it," he told you with a grin, and you let out a soft giggle when his hand on your stomach grabbed your waist to pull you closer to the cell. Careful to not hurt you while he did his best to kiss you through the metal bars.

"Can't wait until I get to hold you again," he sighed. You couldn't agree more.

---

It wasn't until the sixth month behind the walls of Alexandria that Negan was finally allowed time out of his cell with you. He was able to go to appointments with you and actually hold you. He felt like maybe his world was finally healing, and so did you.

"What do you think about the name Elizabeth for a girl and the name Aiden if it's a boy?" You raised your brow at the man who stood behind you. His chin rested on your shoulder while his hands rested on your stomach in the doctor's office.

"How about no," you shot him down. He scoffed, burying his face in the crook of your neck. A soft string of laughter fell from your lips at the way his facial hair tickled your neck.

Siddiq was quick to ruin the moment between the both of you. Clearing his throat to make himself known in the room. Negan didn't move, though. He never wanted to let go of you when he was released from his prison to come with you on these appointments. "Can you come lay on the bed? So we can get an ultrasound done?" He asked, and you nodded with an excited smile. "Yeah, Negan, come on, let go," you spoke, and he sighed. His hands reluctantly dropped from your stomach to watch as you made it over to the bed.

He took note of every change about you. How you seemed more plump and round. The way you had a slight waddle to your walk. The glow to your skin. Gosh. He couldn't be more grateful that he had you safe behind these walls. Even if he was locked behind bars most of the time. At least you were safe. Plus, you had a bed to sleep in. Even if it was cold and alone, it was a bed.

Negans hand squeezed yours. He sat beside you while you lay on the bed. His eyes were glued to that TV that would show him his future. The kid that would soon run his life. Change himself for the better - more than it already had.

He felt his heart squeeze in his chest. His hand tensed around yours when you both saw the baby on the screen. He had no words to express how he felt. His eyes were wide in awe. He just couldn't believe it. "I hope they have your smile," you told Negan, and he looked at you with a loving stare. A tender smile tugged at his lips. "I hope they have your eyes," he added. You both had never felt more in love with each other. If it weren't for Saddiq clearing his throat again. Negan probably would have been doing a lot more than just undressing you with his eyes.

"Well, they look healthy. I want you back here next week, though, and keep taking those vitamins." He ordered, and you nodded, Negan reaching out to wipe a few tears from your face.

"Negan," He looked up at the doctor when his name was spoken. Waiting for him to continue. "I'm going to talk with Rick and the others. I think she'd do better if you were to be with her more. She's gonna need more help the further she gets along. It's not easy moving around with a baby inside you," He quipped, and you rolled your eyes. "You could say that again," you scoffed, but Negan was too caught in the thought of holding you at night again.

"Can we trust you out here?" He asked, and Negan nodded, "Of course, I'm not fucking up this kid's life by pulling something stupid and getting more than just my throat slit. I'd do anything to be with my family," He told the doctor, squeezing your hand with a smile. "All right, I'll talk to them," "thank you," Saddiq merely shrugged with a soft exhale. "Don't thank me yet. II doubt Michonne will like the idea too much."

And she didn't, not one bit.

"Do you guys not remember what he did to us? What he did to Glenn? Or to Abraham? Or anyone else who got killed in the crossfire?" She hissed, and the people around her flinched. "Maggie doesn't even come around anymore because of him. Do you really think we should just let him roam the streets because his wife is having a kid?" She asked.

Rick shrugged. "Carl would let him."

---

It was a hard fight, and Negan did everything to prove to Michonne and the others that he was trustworthy. God, he'd let them put him on a leash just as long as he got to hold his baby when it was born.

He had never felt more torn. One part of him wanted to be excited. To scream and sing about how happy he was to be a father. He was going to have a little Negan running around. Causing chaos and destroying everything in sight. Or maybe a little you. Or a cross of both. He had every right to be excited. His heart swelled at just the thought.

The other part of him wanted to hide away in a corner. Ashamed of what his life had become and all the people he had lost. Along with the fact that he might not be able to hold you ever again. Or even get to play a simple game of hide and seek with his little one. He did everything he did for the people he cared about. Still to this day, he believed he did the right thing. He didn't deserve to be behind these bars, it was the goddamn apocalypse for Christ's sake!

Every day was a war inside Negans head. He seemed to be growing more and more lost, and you took note of that. His smile would be less and less each day. His eyes seemed to slowly lose that shimmer to them that you loved. He was losing himself not being with you and it scared you.

Michonne was there every day to watch you and the ex-leader interact. Listening to how he would talk to you, and what the both of you would say to each other. She never knew he could be that soft. So kind and loving. So paternal.

It took longer than Negan thought, but Michonne finally caved in. She saw how upset you were getting and she'd be damned if she kept a child from their father. Even if their father was batshit crazy.

He hardly looked up when he heard the door outside open. His eyes drooped from his lack of sleep. "Negan," Michonne snarled, and the man sighed. "What? Are you here to tell me I'll never see my kid?" She had never seen him look so defeated. Maybe this was what he needed? She should leave him down here to rot and deal with the fact that he'd only be able to see his baby through bars.

She wasn't like that though. If she was in Negans position she'd probably die from a broken heart. If she was unable to watch her kid grow? It would be torture, even if she thought he deserved it. You and that baby didn't deserve that. She'd be lying if she said she didn't like you either. You were a good person, and everyone could see it. No one understood why you were with someone like him, though.

She sighed, leaning her back against the wall with crossed arms. Watching the man for another moment or two before speaking up. "We're letting you out." His eyes shot up to Michonne, that liveliness slowly flickering back to life within them.

"What?" He choked, and she pursed her lips. "You need to be there for your kid. We're going to have people watching you and your wife at all times. Guards around your home, but we're letting you be with her until the baby's born," she spoke, and he could tell it pained her to say those words. Admitting that she was letting the big bad wolf out of his trap. A trap that protected the flock of sheep outside the four walls he was kept behind.

"Don't make us regret this, Negan. Who knows, you act good, we might allow supervised visits," he shook his head with a sigh. That smile was back on his face. "Shit, I don't think I've ever been more excited to hear the words 'supervised visits' when referring to my future kids," he chimed, and Michonne rolled her eyes. "Shut up before I lose the keys." And Negan listened for once. Standing to his feet with hope.

---

The moment that Negan was free, and actually able to hold you while he slept. He felt more healed than he ever had. His hands held and kept you close at all times. He was there to help you with anything that you needed. You were his everything and he finally had you back.

Even with all the side eyes and glares you each received throughout the town. Neither of you really seemed to care too much. It wasn't like they could stop you both from walking around. Happy and merry you would be raising a kid together. It wasn't until a month before you were due. That's when you each began to fear the citizens around you.

He held your hand with his as he walked you to the doctor's office. His eyes glanced over at you here or there to be sure everything was all right. He was always worried about you, especially since you were due at any moment.

Negan stopped the stroll with you when he heard a familiar click behind the both of you, though. His heart jumped into his throat as he squeezed your hand. His head turned around to look at the man behind the both of you that held a gun out. Aimed right at you.

He had feared this day since his attempted assassination. A gun aimed right at the love of his life. Just now it felt so much worse. You were pregnant. Carrying a baby! But it was his baby, and he knew the people behind these walls only saw evil when they thought of your kid being born. It tore him to pieces, and panic was setting within his chest. He felt like he was trapped, unable to save you.

Negan acted fast without thinking. Pulling you to the side and behind him. Thankful the person didn't fire. The barrel of the pistol just followed his movements. Now pointed at Negans head. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Pointing a gun at a pregnant lady," Negan asked with a light-hearted chuckle. His palms sweating a little with how vulnerable he felt right now.

"You killed her," he snapped, and Negan felt his heart drop. He'd never escape any of this, would he? "Look, I'm sorry, I really am," he tried to apologize. He'd plead if he really had to. Anything to keep you safe and prove that he changed. "She was pregnant too, you know? My wife, she was four months along," the man rambled, his voice cracking while tears brimmed his eyes. "Why should you get to keep your wife and baby, huh?" He shouted, and people started gathering around to watch the scene unfold.

Rick was the one that tried to de-escalate the situation, but you hardly knew what was going on. Your head was pounding and swimming with what-if thoughts. Thoughts of Negan dying, you getting shot and the baby not making it.

Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. A pain in your abdomen that had you clenching Negans hand hard. The man hissed out with a wince at how hard you squeezed. "Dammit, woman, what are you-" he snarled a little, intimidated by the situation, and confused as to why you were grabbing him so hard. "I need to get to the infirmary," you wheezed, and he felt his stomach flip. Noticing how sweaty you were, and how the color seemed to drain from your face. Was the baby coming? Did you get too scared? What was going on?

He didn't have time to think before a loud bang was heard. Negan's arms instinctively wrapped around you at the noise. The jolt of adrenaline that shot through you was not helping your case, nor was his body draped over yours.

He peaked over his shoulder, realizing the man had only shot the ground and Rick was holding him to the ground. "Negan, get her to Saddiq, now!" Rick shouted, and Negan nodded. He didn't have to tell him twice.

His head was racing at the thought of you going into labor. Was he really ready to be a dad? Were you both ready to be walking around with a baby in these conditions? What if he did get shot? What if someone killed you?

He didn't have time to think about anything worse before you were being helped up the stairs by Saddiq. Pulled into the main room of the infirmary and onto the table.

"Negan," you cried out when he went to stand back from the table. Your hand reaching out to hold his, "Don't go, please." He frowned at your words. He hated that you thought he would just leave you here. His smile slowly came back while he nodded, "I'm not heading anywhere, remember, you're stuck with me." He told you, leaning down to kiss your fear. Brushing away the tears that spilled past your eyes.

The contractions got closer and closer with each minute that went by, and soon Saddiq was using his knowledge and helping you deliver your baby. Negan was simply a bystander, holding your hand and doing his best to comfort you. Even if you were screaming and yelling at him with each reassurance he tried to give you. He knew you didn't mean it, or at least he assumed.

---

When the baby was finally born Negan couldn't take his eyes off of them. They were so small, especially in his hands. Little nose, ears, eyes, feet, he couldn't stop smiling.

"Can I hold my baby?" You asked, reaching your arms out with a small smile, and Negan raised a brow. "Don't you mean our baby?" He asked, looking back down at her before handing the little one to you. Propping some pillows behind you so you could sit up on the bed while holding your baby. The blanket draped over your legs.

He hummed out a small laugh while looking over the kid, reaching out to place his finger on the palm of her hand. Watching as she squeezed back. "She has your eyes," you told him, and he chuckled, "Then I hope she's got your smile, honey-bear," he cooed, leaning over in order to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

From that day on Negan spent most of his time by your side. Getting Michonne off his ass after the whole rogue citizen incident. He needed to not only be there to help you heal, but also protect you. It was obvious that people weren't going to feel any remorse for killing a woman - that unknown to Negan - helped Rick capture the Saviors. Nor her baby who had done nothing wrong.

He couldn't believe that he had a kid now. She was everything to him too. He couldn't wait until she got older, as well. Watch his little girl grow up into someone strong. He just hoped she didn't grow up too fast.

"You know," he murmured, the both of you finally back in the safety of the house Rick had assigned you when you first got into Alexandria. "I think we should have an army of kids," he cooed, and you rolled your eyes. Leaning against him while you each sat on the couch. The baby in your arms.

"Negan, I'll have one more kid for you. After that, you'll have to figure out the army situation on your own. Either find kids out there, or someone else to have your babies." you joked, and he snickered, pressing a kiss to your cheek. His nose nuzzled your skin afterward. "Hmm, we'll be all right with just two, I guess," he sighed dramatically, and you rolled your eyes.

"I at least want a little boy," he hummed with a smirk, kissing on your neck while you giggled lightly. "Well, we're waiting at least another two years before I have another one, Neg," he groaned at your words. Leaning more against you. "Why not now?" You tittered, kissing his cheek. "Someone's got baby fever, don't they?" You asked with a grin, and he shrugged. "Only if you're the one makin' 'em, sweetheart," he told you, and you nodded. Finally settling against his chest after he stopped squirming around beside you. He was worse than the sleeping babe in your arm.

"I love you," he cooed, leaning his head on top of yours while one arm draped around your shoulders. The other hand reached down to set on the baby's chest. "I love you both, don't either of you forget that." He whispered.

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